Scripture reading: I Peter 1:17–21

News Flash

God Implements Massive Bailout Plan

CELESTIAL PRESS

Today’s World News Update

In a move that has surprised millions, God has implemented the biggest bailout in the history of the world. Critics speculate that such lavish spending is another illustration of Kingdom incompetence. But others believe the stimulus package has the ability to turn the global moral meltdown around and usher in an era of peace and spiritual well-being.

In comparison to past economic initiatives in Washington and other countries, God’s bailout package is infinitely larger. Sources close to the throne indicate that the treasury of heaven has been virtually emptied in the divine effort to solve the spiritual and moral crisis that has characterized the human condition for millennia. In the past God has gone to exorbitant lengths to stimulate the moral economy by sending prophets, priests and kings . . . even angels. Realizing that such efforts were insufficient to deal with the crisis, God has decided to massively increase the size of his bailout package: In a move that no one anticipated, he included his only Son in the bailout initiative! The Kingdom Press Secretary describes the stimulus package in these terms:

,. God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16)

,. He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? (Romans 8:32)

,. For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. (I Peter 1:18–19)

,. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. (Ephesians 2:8–9)

,. You were sold for nothing, and without money you will be redeemed. (Isaiah 52:3)

Critics say that such lavish spending on such undeserving recipients will never work. Many believe it is a waste of time and money, and some have voiced concern that it is unwise to be so generous with people who have mismanaged their resources so catastrophically. “They should pay for their own mistakes,” one vocal critic was quoted as saying.

God, however, remains firmly committed to the bailout effort. When asked about the chances of his plan actually stimulating a revival of the spiritual economy, a spokesman for God refused to predict what would happen in the near future but offered an impassioned plea to our readers: You who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost (Isaiah 55:1).

 

He left his Father’s throne above so free, so infinite his grace—emptied himself of all but love, and bled for Adam’s helpless race: ‘Tis mercy all, immense and free, for O my God, it found out me! —Charles  Wesley

 

point to ponder • After contemplating all that God has done in making redemption possible, what more would he need to do to convince you of his love and compassion?

prayer focus • Someone who needs a divine bailout.